I have been struck down my the mighty hand of back pain and am currently wallowing in a cesspit of doom, guzzling down cocktails of anti-inflammatories and self-pity in a fruitless attempt to comfort myself. The physiotherapist gave me about a thrillion torturous exercises which I can't even do, and all of this becasue...
MY TORSO IS TOO LONG.
Yes... disproportionately so. I have always known that I am mostly torso, and have been telling people for years... however all I ever got in return was mockery and scoffs of disbelief; now I have diagnostic proof from a real live health professional that my torso is just too long to survive. Too bad this information has finally come packaged in the form of a life sentence! Suck on that, mockers!!!!!!!!!!
Posts
We're sorry, us mockers didn't know that such a wonderfully long torso, could also be such a burden. Alas, we only noticed that such a magnificent physical feature gave you opportunities dwelling in the realms that some of us only dream of. You with such a height can do things that we small mushrooms don't even fathom, like notice the moldy bread forgotten on top of the fridge, when we land dwellers sniff and scurry around attempting to find the source of the eye watering smell, assumed to be hidden behind or underneath or within some long forgotten cove, you with your long and elegant torso can see beyond the fray and rectify the problem. You are so right, we only saw the advantages of being able to reach anything of your desire or place things out of a child's reach or even play the 'how high can I jump' game with peers.
ReplyDeletePlease forgive your thoughtless mockers...
I'm so glad that on second reading you did not say you were guzzling down cocktails and anti-inflammatories... for that would have been a worry.
ReplyDeleteROBYN! long time no see :(
ReplyDeletehow's the long torso going?